Seinfeld : Episode 14

Jerry is ecstatic that a woman he met on the road is coming to stay with him in New York. George and Kramer weigh in on how Jerry should best approach the situation.

Jerry meets an attractive woman at a party but by the time she leaves, he has only learned where she works. Jerry stakes out the mystery woman's office with George so that he can “casually” bump into her.

Jerry is robbed after Kramer fails to close the apartment door. Elaine talks Jerry into looking at a fabulous apartment in the hopes that she can then have Jerry’s place. Things are further complicated when George decides he wants the new place too.

Jerry tries to “break-up” with his obnoxious childhood friend but his pathetic weeping leads Jerry to give him another chance. Elaine helps Jerry come up with excuses to avoid him.

After George receives a stock tip, he and Jerry take the financial plunge. Elaine and her allergies battle her boyfriend’s cats. Meanwhile,Jerry’s weekend getaway with his new girlfriend proves to be a relationship killer.

George has doubts about his current relationship that he broke off. Elaine is curious about a relationship that she has with a guy in her building that has degenerated over the past two years. Jerry is reluctantly drawn into George's ex-relationship when he picks up some books left at her apartment. Although he wants to break it off with her, she has this "psycho-sexual" hold over him and he becomes worried about what George might think if he lets this relationship develop. Elaine confronts the guy in her building and Jerry's relationship maybe in jeopardy when his girlfriend sees his act.

Jerry's parents come to town for a 50th anniversary party. Jerry bets Kramer that he won't complete his plans to renovate his apartment with levels in a month. Jerry takes Elaine to the dinner and he makes an observation about children who have ponies, this remark offends the guest of honor. When she dies soon afterwards, Jerry wonders if he should go to the funeral or go to his championship softball game. Elaine wonders about the fate of the apartment, when she hears the widower is moving to Arizona. George wonders if it will ever be possible for him to have sex again.

Jerry buys a real expensive new suede jacket with a colorful inner lining. George has a song from Les Miserables that he just can't get out of his mind. Kramer is supposed pickup a magician friend's doves, and needs someone to help him for two minutes; Elaine takes on the job. Kramer promises she'll get "a lift" to the hotel where Jerry and George are meeting her and her father, Alton Benes, an author cut from Hemingway cloth. Jerry and George suffer while waiting with Elaine's father. When it begins to snow, Jerry turns his new jacket inside out, to protect it, but Alton Benes doesn't want to be seen on the street with him.

George blows an invitation upstairs with his latest girlfriend and then when he tries to make restitution he leaves progressively nastier messages on her answering machine. He gets the chance to prevent her from hearing her messages by having Jerry switch the tape out of her machine, while he distracts her. Jerry and his girlfriend have a disagreement about a TV commercial for Dockers, and his telling his friends about their conflict.

Kramer tries mousse in his hair. Jerry gets Elaine an opportunity to get the apartment right above him, before he realizes the possible implications. George tests the "man with a wedding band" theory of meeting women.

Jerry has a box of stuff his grandfather left him. Inside is an interesting looking statue that could replace one George's parents had years ago, but he broke. George plans to pick the statue up later but in the meantime he tells his parents about the replacement statue. Meanwhile the boyfriend of a bitter Finnish author (whose latest work Elaine is going to edit) is going to clean Jerry's apartment. When Jerry returns to his apartment it is cleaned beyond reason. Later when Jerry and Elaine are at the author's apartment, they see the statue on her mantelpiece. Getting it back may jeopardize Elaine's chance at being an editor, but save George from his parent's wrath.

George quits his job in a huff after he is demoted to using the regular bathroom. Newman tells Kramer that he plans to jump off the building. Jerry suggests that George just go back into work next Monday morning and pretend like nothing happened; however, that doesn't work. Newman jumps, from the second floor. George plots revenge, and with Elaine's help, tries to slip his boss "a Mickey." Jerry suspects that his launderer is a larcenist after he discovers that $1500 he had stashed in his laundry bag is missing. Kramer helps Jerry get revenge by bringing a bag of concrete in to put into one of the wash machines.

George thinks he's had a heart attack. The doctor tells him otherwise, but he might want to get his tonsils and adenoids removed. Elaine is interested in the doctor and he is interested in her tongue. George not wanting to deal with the cost, follows Kramer's suggestion of going to a holistic healer. The healer's cure turns George purple and the ride to the hospital is delayed over a Chuckle.

Elaine needs to use Jerry's apartment to hold a baby shower for a woman that once dated George. George reflects that she was "unequivocally the worst date of my life." Jerry has to go out of town for a show, so he lets Elaine use the apartment. Kramer sells Jerry on the idea on getting an illegal cable hookup. The party begins. The cable guys come to install the hookup. Jerry's show gets canceled, so he returns to the apartment with George (who's prepared to confront the bad date). Jerry is the victim of his own confrontation.

Jerry, Elaine and George stop for a quick Chinese dinner before a showing of Plan 9 From Outer Space on the big screen. However, while waiting a really long time to get a table, Jerry sees a woman whose name he can't recall; George needs to use a phone he can't have and Elaine needs food, more than those seated ahead of them.

George inadvertently meddles in the life of a busboy, by getting him fired. He tries to rectify things; however, he winds up compounding them by losing the busboy's cat. Elaine discovers that a week is much too long to have a houseguest. She does everything in her power to get him out. The busboy's life is saved and made for the better after his involvement with George, until he meets Elaine's houseguest.

Physical therapy proves painful as Jerry has a misunderstanding with his therapist; and he finds a way for insurance to cover treatment for Elaine and a paranoid George.

George's relationship with a former IRS worker eases Jerry's tax worries--until she becomes George's former relationship; Kramer sees too much of Elaine while seeing her roommate.

Elaine regrets accompanying Jerry on a visit to his parents, where local gossip includes how Jerry acquired a pen that writes upside down.

Jerry's gig as a dog sitter provides some time alone to George and Elaine, who find they have little to say.

A library cop says Jerry is 20 years overdue with a steamy novel.

Saturday at the mall with the gang, none of whom bothered to note where the car was parked.

While Jerry tries to help a cafe owner, Elaine tries to help George with an IQ test, and Kramer...well, nobody can help Kramer.

George is hot for a potential baldness remedy, and for Elaine after she plays a joke on Jerry.

Kramer is the catalyst for George to urge his otherwise wonderful girlfriend to get a nose job, while Jerry dates a beauty whose brain is a beaut.

Jerry pays a high price for being stranded at a party by George, who pays the price for romance in the workplace but forgets to pay for something else.

Jerry gets his car stolen; Kramer gets a line in a Woody Allen film; George gets a job; and Elaine gets tired of her boyfriend.

An imperfection mars George's gift to Elaine; Jerry inadvertently helps an alcoholic go off the wagon.

A beauty picks up George; Jerry makes friends with a naked guy; Kramer is tipped off about a hot horse; Elaine gets stuck en route to a lesbian wedding.

Kramer's advice gives George "the upper hand" in his relationship with a pianist, whose recital is ruined by Elaine's outburst of laughter.

A psychic warns George to cancel his vacation; Jerry is hit on by his neighbor's girl after the neighbor's suicide attempt; Elaine fasts.

Jerry and Elaine fix up George with Elaine's friend--then wait nervously.

Jerry becomes friends with baseball's Keith Hernandez, who has a history with Kramer and would like a future with Elaine.

Jerry and Elaine compete for the attention of baseball's Keith Hernandez, while Kramer and Newman investigate a spitting incident involving Hernandez.

Jerry and George take a limo meant for another, whose agenda includes more than just getting in from the airport.

Jerry witnesses an accident--and is attracted to the victim and the perpetrator.

Kramer sits for Jerry's artist girlfriend, but Jerry won't stand for her temperament, until she declares her feelings.

George argues with a stranger over a "dream" parking space in front of Jerry's apartment.

Kramer hits the road after a dispute over his use of his keys to Jerry's apartment.

Jerry and George look for Kramer in Hollywood, where Kramer's new friend becomes a victim.

Jerry and George find Kramer, whose past is laid out by the lieutenant seeking his confession.

A show about "nothing" is George's pitch to network execs interested in a series for Jerry.

Jerry and George take another meeting; Kramer testifies for Newman in a speeding-ticket protest.

Jerry's dad has a bad time at the back doctor's; Elaine wants to part with her boyfriend; Jerry's unhappy with George's network "negotiating."

The network president doesn't play George's game; Jerry deals for his "broken" watch; Elaine is a hot topic in the office of her psychiatrist boyfriend.

A weekend is kaput, partly because of George's driving.

Elaine's assistant has words with Jerry, who has few with George; Kramer deals for more Cuban cigars.

The man who's threatening Jerry is the same Joe who's dating Elaine.

Jerry courts a woman with a tame past; George makes a bad move at a meeting; a man disagrees with Elaine.

George's mom lands in the hospital; a contest begins among Jerry, George, Kramer and Elaine, involving a naked woman and an attractive man.

On a flight to NYC, Jerry has a first-class time, but Elaine suffers in coach. Meanwhile, Kramer and George try to hit the right airport.

Kramer makes Elaine's Christmas card a collector's item, and settles an argument with a designer; Jerry is caught in a human moment by his new female friend; George pleads to make up with Susan.

The difficulties met by four persons trying to meet at one movie.

A lawyer George dates could help Jerry's pal, who's facing deportation, thanks, in part, to Kramer's trip to Florida.

There's something about Elaine's shoes that leads to the stalling of George and Jerry's TV pilot, until Elaine gives it a kick.

Elaine's prank leads a reporter to believe Jerry and George are a gay couple.

Volunteering with seniors...Elaine is enthralled by hers, George gets fired and Jerry loses his.

Jerry adopts Elaine's opinion about a woman he's seeing; then Elaine changes her mind.

Jerry can't remember the name of his date, and he observes a splenectomy.

An odor in Jerry's car seeps into the love life of Elaine.

There are many repercussions after the gang parks in a handicap space.

Kramer wants to audition for Jerry and George's pilot; and the network president becomes obsessed with Elaine.

The pilot is cast, taped and aired, but George doesn't think he'll live to see its success.

Jerry shares George's self-doubt after Elaine admits not all was as it seemed during their romantic relationship.

Jerry's appearance with Bryant Gumbel is not the expected career boost for Kramer's girlfriend; but George gets a new career after moving back with his parents.

Kramer's optometrist pal replaces George's glasses with suspect frames.

Jerry thinks his accountant may be on drugs; George's passion wins him a job; Elaine's exclamations end her relationship.

Godparenting is a chore for Jerry and Elaine; tragedy befalls George's car; Kramer decries a genetic experiment.

A tennis lineswoman is game to help George learn why he's been dumped.

Jerry and Elaine's suspicion about "nonfat" yogurt figures into New York City's mayoral race.

Jerry wants to switch barbers without hurting anyone's feelings; George goes to work, but was he hired?

Jerry's masseuse-girlfriend doesn't like George; Elaine's boyfriend shares a moniker with a mass murderer.

Reading TV Guide nets Elaine an admirer, but gets her into trouble with George's father; Jerry's gift to Elaine offends her friend.

George wants to change religions for the sake of romance, while Kramer is attracted to a novice nun.

George is charmed by Elaine's new boyfriend; Kramer thinks Jerry's new girlfriend is his phone-sex mate.

A "brief" stop to buy gifts for a dinner party becomes an ordeal thanks to George's big coat.

A writer hits a woman in the head with Elaine's electronic organiser; George lies to impress a woman.

A mannequin resembles Elaine; George battles for a bargain suit; Jerry wonders why his date won't try a pie; Kramer has an itch.

George postpones breaking up with his girlfriend; Kramer befriends a fellow soap-opera stand-in; and Jerry bombs trying to cheer up a sick friend.

Jerry's girlfriend poses as his wife to get in on his dry-cleaning discount.

Kramer plans to profit from raincoats created by Jerry's dad; George sells his dad's old "cruisewear."

The sale of Morty's raincoats is delayed; George tries to buy back his dad's clothes.

George embarrasses himself at a kids' birthday party; Jerry heckles back at a heckler.

In the Hamptons, George's date sunbathes topless; Kramer steals lobsters; and a handsome doctor compliments Elaine, or does he?

George changes his life by going against his instincts; Kramer plugs his book on "Live with Regis and Kathie Lee."

Kramer supervises Jerry's date with a Miss America contestant; George gets the Yankees to wear cotton; Elaine tries to fill the shoes of a late book editor.

Kramer fears a golf dispute has pushed his opponent to murder; Jerry dates a woman whom Newman rejected.

Elaine mistakes a man for a woman on the phone; George gets baseball's Danny Tartabull to join Jerry at a fund-raiser.

Jerry makes a blind date; Kramer makes a change to increase his sperm count.

Freedom-of-choice issues disrupt Elaine's new relationship and Kramer's business; George watches a video instead of reading his book-club book.

His girl's mom sees George as a bum; Kramer encourages Jerry to make the most of dating a gymnast; 3-D art mesmerizes Mr. Pitt.

Jerry pays dearly for a "free" suit from a comic; Elaine has a beau who's no gentleman; George's way with words ends his relationship with a waitress.

George buys a car thinking it was owned by Jon Voight; Kramer tries to save a mom-and-pop store; Elaine gets her boss into the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Clothing problems are a hang-up; George hires a secretary.

Jerry dates a woman whose boss has a grudge against him; Elaine dates a Communist whose ideology spreads to George and Kramer.

George suspects that his girlfriend is bulimic; Jerry dates a woman who has a friendlier roommate; Elaine loans out her boss's tennis racket.

George objects to his girlfriend's roommate; Super Bowl tickets make the rounds as plans change.

George fails to keep a secret about a friend; Kramer fingers Newman as a scofflaw.

The first of a two-part collection of highlights from the first 100 shows includes the characters' ambitions and outside relationships; and George explaining the "show about nothing."

The conclusion of a two-part collection of highlights from the first 100 shows includes the characters' concern about their self-images. Also: the evolution of "the contest"; how "marine biologist" George saved a beached whale.

A toupee qualifies George to date Kramer's friend; Elaine tries to change a gay man; Jerry owns up to watching "Melrose Place."

A physical therapist bothers Jerry, angers George and attracts Kramer. Meanwhile, Kramer promotes friendliness within his building.

Jerry runs afoul of a doorman; Kramer invents a bra for men. Elaine offends Mr. Pitt's neighbor.

A gym member teams with George in business and makes a date with Elaine to see Mel Torme; Jerry suspects his dentist of hanky-panky.

Jerry's family lives it up at the Plaza for free, thanks to Elaine; the fumigation of Jerry's apartment disables Kramer's taste buds.

Jerry's mechanic "steals" his lovemaking technique; someone's license plates enhance Kramer's image; Mrs. Costanza gets an eye job.

A booking agent is overly attentive to Jerry; Pitt puts Elaine in his will; Kramer starts gambling again.

Elaine's boyfriend is too zealous a hockey fan; George ventures saying "I love you"; Kramer has an altercation with a chimp.

Jerry dates Bette Midler's understudy, who gets the call after George injures Bette; Elaine suspects she's being insulted in Korean.

Jerry reneges on his pact with George to be more like "grown-up men"; Newman takes care of a barking dog that keeps Elaine awake.

Elaine shares her feelings about George with the wrong person. Meanwhile, George discovers the power of tears.

A maestro impresses Elaine, jeopardizes Kramer's lawsuit and makes Jerry curious about housing in Italy.

George's involuntary winking is misinterpreted by many, and prompts Kramer to seek a favor from Yankee Paul O'Neill; Jerry tries to hide his distaste for meat from Elaine's cousin.

An Olympic athlete stays at Elaine's; George picks up colloquialisms from Houston Astros execs; Kramer installs a hot tub at his pad.

Cooing between Jerry and his girlfriend irritates George; Elaine runs afoul of a soup vendor; Kramer loses Elaine's armoire to muggers.

George dines with Elaine's boss; Jerry's sleeping foot costs him a commercial; Kramer gives traffic advice to firemen.

An acquaintance latches on to Jerry; George objects to Susan's relationship with his pals; Kramer's new phone number brings many wrong numbers.

Elaine holds a monopoly on the contraceptive devices that Susan prefers; Kramer refuses to wear a ribbon on his AIDS walk.

Kramer is overprotective of a friend who had a breakdown after dating Elaine; a former neighbor is worried about George's mental stability.

George's parents meet Susan's; Elaine fears her enthusiasm may have scared off the musician she's dating; Kramer drives a hansom cab, but feeds his steed bad fuel.

Kramer sues Elaine's friend for sinking his golf career; George's apparent work ethic impresses his bosses.

Kramer demands compensation from Elaine for his chiropractic effort; Jerry's flame always wears the same outfit.

George becomes obsessed with Marisa Tomei after he's told he's her type; Jerry gives his father a Cadillac.

George has a meeting with Marisa Tomei; the Cadillac Jerry buys his father sparks trouble for his dad.

Elaine fails a drug test--twice--and loses her job; Jerry talks about his Uncle Leo on "The Tonight Show."

Susan's friend interferes with Jerry's planned jokes; Susan's doll reminds George of his mother; Frank Costanza builds a billiard room.

Elaine suspects a co-worker is faking a hearing impairment; Jerry makes a faux pas at the Friars Club after comic Pat Cooper sponsors him for membership.

Jerry gets miffed when a salesman hits on Elaine while she's with him; George suspects hookers are conducting business in his parked car.

George gets his boss, George Steinbrenner, hooked on calzones, then loses his supplier; Kramer warms to clothing fresh from the dryer.

Jerry has an argument with his mechanic; Newman becomes obsessed with Michigan's recycling program; Elaine goes to an auction for her boss.

While driving a postal truck, Kramer and Newman spot Jerry's stolen car, containing Elaine's JFK golf clubs.

Jerry and Elaine see opportunities for themselves when George causes a couple to separate; Kramer can't remove his new jeans.

Jerry falls for a woman much like himself; George wants out of his wedding, and his fiancée doesn't want Elaine in the wedding party.

Susan's parents act to preserve her memory; Kramer gives Elaine a confidence boost after Peterman puts her in charge.

Kramer falls for the woman Jerry's seeing; George suspects he's suspected of foul play.

Elaine hangs out with men who are opposites of Jerry, George and Kramer; Kramer stumbles into a white-collar job; Jerry finds a flaw in Elaine's beautiful friend.

Elaine's staff loses respect for her after seeing her dance; George benefits socially when Elaine labels him a "bad seed"; Kramer's friend forces Jerry into crime.

Elaine regrets peeking at her medical chart; George takes dating advice from Kramer, who also hatches a scheme to improve Jerry's stereo.

An employee's military bent scares Elaine; Kramer cooks for a Jewish singles night; Jerry finds fault with his girlfriend's mentor.

Jerry's popularity in Japan brings new friends to Kramer, and maybe new life to Jerry's TV pilot; Elaine's new beau won't share "his song" with her.

George loses an expensive hat Elaine charged to her business account; a neon sign prompts Kramer and Jerry to swap apartments.

George's intellect thrives when thoughts of sex are shut out; Elaine wants her intern to become a doctor--stat; Jerry is bumped from a school's Career Day.

Jerry tries to help Newman get transferred; George trades tales with a shipwreck survivor to obtain a dream apartment; Kramer coughs like a dog; a minor insult has a major effect on Elaine.

George finds a new romance--in a women's prison; Kramer buys a chicken, then puts his fowl to foul use; Elaine encourages her shaved-headed beau to grow back his hair.

Kramer's girlfriend disrupts his sleep; Jerry's parents think he needs financial aid; George ponders an inheritance.

Kramer arranges to die with dignity; Jerry learns his tennis consultant is a lousy player; George becomes obsessed with responding to an insult long after the fact; Elaine offends her video advisor.

Gang members protest George's handling of a scholarship named for Susan; some find Jerry's new girlfriend objectionable; Peterman wants Kramer's life experiences for his own autobiography, written by Elaine.

Kramer becomes the spokesman for a woman George wants to avoid; Jerry's bookie welches; a co-worker mistakes Elaine for someone else, who's reported as a problem worker.

Jerry has an accident with his girlfriend's toothbrush; Elaine crams herself into a restaurant's delivery boundary; Kramer alters his "adopted" highway.

Elaine's review of a film loses her friends; a woman mistakes George for her boyfriend; Jerry visits his parents in Florida.

George crafts a place to nap at work; a new beau gives Elaine a mattress, which Kramer promptly soils; Jerry's kitchen is redesigned against his will.

George adopts his girlfriend's verbal shorthand; Jerry suspects a comic motive behind his dentist's conversion to Judaism; double-daters Kramer and Mickey don't know whose date is whose.

The Mets express interest in George; an inattentive saleswoman irks Elaine; Kramer prepares for his millennium party; Jerry jockeys for position on his girlfriend's speed dial.

George pretends he's a tourist to bond with a tourism worker; Elaine's former boss steals her million-dollar idea, while Kramer promotes a bus tour about the life of Elaine's current boss; Jerry shaves his chest hair.

Kramer's job at the Tony Awards leads to a meeting with Raquel Welch; George helps Jerry date a high-maintenance woman; Elaine is labeled catty after making a comment about a co-worker.

Kramer uses butter for shaving--and more; George's cane is an advantage at his new job; Jerry feels used by his comedy nemesis, Bania; Elaine breaks up with her boyfriend before their flight back from Europe.

Kramer hires an assistant; George's boss tries to force him out; Elaine bets Jerry she won't get back with her latest ex.

George goes to work for his father; Jerry's girlfriend wants to see his emotions; Kramer adopts a suburban feel at home; Elaine prompts two Jewish men to renounce their faith.

Kramer stores his own blood to avoid a blood-bank fee; George tries to combine his two passions, sex and food; Elaine's plan to show responsibility backfires; Jerry trains with fitness guru Izzy Mendelbaum.

Kramer battles junk mail; George thinks his parents are trying to avoid him; Jerry acquires a van; and Elaine gets a new man, whose past comes back to haunt her.

Kramer turns his apartment into a talk-show set; Jerry's girlfriend won't let him play with her toys; George's clash with pigeons leads to problems with a squirrel; a new employee's silent movement rattles Elaine.

George has a past with his new boss; Jerry's "revenge date" backfires; Kramer's deli slicer solves Elaine's problem with a neighbor.

Flashbacks trace the evolution of Jerry, George and Elaine's disastrous trip to a wedding in India, and Kramer's desperate need to barter for a birthday wish.

Jerry's girlfriend is naked too often; Elaine's lifestyle offends a co-worker; Kramer seeks to shorten his showers; George has a disagreement with a new AA member.

Kramer returns to work after his 12-year strike is settled; Jerry dates a woman whose appearance fluctuates; George gives holiday gifts in his co-workers' names to a fraudulent charity.

At a car dealership, Kramer takes a test drive, while Jerry's deal is threatened by a fight between Elaine and Puddy.

Elaine gets into a hassle regarding fur; Jerry stops carrying a wallet, while George suffers from his overstuffed one; Kramer keeps Newman from being evicted.

An actress turns Jerry's criticism into a one-woman show; Kramer stops talking after offending George; Elaine struggles to understand a cartoon in The New Yorker.

Jerry keeps finding Kramer's hidden strongbox key. Elaine dates a mysterious man. George plans a breakup.

Jerry buys his father an electric organizer; Kramer retires and moves next door to Jerry's parents in Florida; Susan's parents catch George in a lie; Elaine can't tell if she's part of an interracial couple.

Kramer and Mickey play ill for med students; Elaine learns that Puddy's religious; George works out how and when to make a good exit; a tractor figures into the past of Jerry's girlfriend.

A bookstore busts Uncle Leo for shoplifting and George for bathroom reading; a misdeed at a company party costs Elaine; Kramer and Newman get a rickshaw, and audition homeless people to pull it.

George buys an arcade game to preserve his high score; fear of a serial killer adversely affects Jerry's social life; Elaine eats Peterman's slice of wedding cake from the nuptials of the Duke and Duchess of Windsor.

Elaine's area code is changed; a co-worker steals George's desired nickname; Jerry sleeps with his maid; Kramer endures a "long-distance relationship" when his girlfriend moves downtown.

Gridlocked by a parade, Jerry verbally spars with another driver; George goes to a movie; and Kramer looks for a bathroom. Elaine, meanwhile, searches for a crossing point with a group of strangers.

Jerry, Elaine, George & Kramer plan to go to a movie, but Jerry takes out a little time to look at nine years of memories.

More memories and bloopers.

The gang plans a trip to Paris to celebrate after NBC picks up Jerry and George's sitcom. But there's an in-flight emergency, stranding them in a small town.

Witnesses testify to the gang's (lack of) character as they go on trial for violating a "Good Samaritan Law."